“I’m originally from Congo where I lived until I was 10 years old. My uncle brought me to live with him in the UK. Prior to this, I was bouncing from
house to house between my parents who were separated. I lived with my dad but would stay with my mum on holidays. That was confusing as a child. When my dad suddenly passed away, things got even more confusing – that’s when I went to live with my uncle. He took good care of me but we clashed a lot because I constantly lied to him about my whereabouts. Every time I was meant to be on my way home from college, I’d sneak away to meet girls instead and would lie to him about it. I couldn’t help myself as I had no self- control when it came to my sexual urges.
“I was vulgar and had no respect for women to the point that I had problems at school for being flirtatious even with teachers. I couldn’t tell my uncle all this but somehow, he always knew I was lying and my bad behaviour pushed us apart. I knew I was wrong but couldn’t help myself.
“When my dad passed away, it felt like a piece of me had also died. It felt like I’d lost my purpose in life and was now left with a huge gaping hole inside, so even though I had my uncle as a father figure, I’d always ask myself, ‘Why did my dad have to go?’ I felt lost and alone and didn’t know how to express this.
“I guess in a way this drove me to want to fit in with the guys from my college. I wanted to earn their respect, so I’d do crazy things with them trying to recruit customers for drug dealers, assisting them with fraud and getting into fights. I was big for my age, so they would bring me along in case a fight broke out. I liked the fact that they relied on me. I remember an occasion when I was called to ‘back a fight’ where I didn’t even know the person I was fighting for!
“When I arrived, I saw him retrieve a blood- stained knife from a nearby bush. That scared me but I still stayed. The fight went as planned and thankfully he didn’t use the knife, but that event stayed in my mind. Even though I was living that dangerous lifestyle and felt very empty, I didn’t think I needed help.
“One day a friend invited me to the Victory Youth Group (VYG—the youth ministry of the Universal Church) but I refused his invitation. I thought, ‘This is not really my scene.’ The next time I was invited, it was different because it involved one of my biggest inclinations—a girl. My friend was talking about a girl he knew from the church and the more he talked about her, the more I wanted to know her, so I went to the VYG hoping to meet that girl. During the meeting, I couldn’t stop staring at her.
“I kept attending the church, until one day I heard the pastor say something that really struck me. He asked a simple question: ‘What would happen to your soul if you died?
“I’d never thought of myself as a soul before. It made me reflect on all the wrong things I was involved with. When I heard those words something changed in me. It was like I saw the reality of my life and I understood that I needed to change but that I also needed help to do it. Thankfully, I was now in a place where I could find this help.
“I started to learn about faith and what God had to offer me, which was more than my lifestyle was offering me. I realised that none of those things I was doing were giving me what I actually wanted, which was happiness. I remember feeling some kind of momentary happiness when ‘we’d do a madness’, but soon after, I always felt bad or dirty. However, I understood that God wanted to give me real happiness, with no strings attached, and I decided to fight for this promise.
“It was quite hard letting go of the only lifestyle I’d ever known, but I understood that in order to find my inner transformation, I had to change my behaviour, not only inside the church but especially outside, through my daily choices. It was like learning everything all over again. As I stuck to my decision and really applied myself to what I was learning in church and the Youth Group, I saw that my mind, which was so filthy, became clean. My focus was on building a good and positive future. I didn’t need to be out on the streets.
“Years have passed and today I can truly say that I’m a new man! I don’t need to go after fights and one-night stands to be fulfilled because God’s presence filled the void I once had. Now I am happy and in a stable relationship with my fiancée. Today, I volunteer in the VYG to help other young people who have the same struggles I once had.”
Dieu-vit Glev Loukelo
