With faith, we understand that everything we experience has a greater purpose — including pain, challenges, and moments of pressure. And, when it comes to inner transformation, God has a powerful tool that He uses to shape each one of us.
This was the theme of last week’s Love Therapy, held by Bishop James Marques and his wife Helena at The Cathedral of Miracles.
Unlike the tools we have learnt in the previous week, this one is used on us — and by none other than God himself. It is the Sieve Fork also known as the Winnowing, mentioned by John the Baptist when he spoke about Jesus:
“I indeed baptise you with water unto repentance, but He who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptise you with the Holy Spirit and fire. His winnowing fan is in His hand, and He will thoroughly clean out His threshing floor, and gather His wheat into the barn; but He will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire” (Matthew 3:11-12).
In ancient times, after harvesting, the wheat and the chaff were mixed together. To separate them, farmers used a threshing floor, an open and often elevated area, where the harvest would be tossed into the air using a sieve fork. The wind would blow away the lighter chaff, leaving the heavier wheat to fall back down, purified and ready for use.
So, what does this have to do with us and our relationships?
Just like the wheat, we too are thrown into the air—metaphorically speaking—by life’s trials. God allows situations that shake us up, and through the ‘wind’ of the Holy Spirit, He begins to remove the things that are not good for us: bad habits, pride, selfishness and insecurities. This isn’t always pleasant. In fact, it can feel overwhelming and painful, especially within our closest relationships.
Take marriage, for instance. Before getting married, many of us believe we’ve got it all together—we imagined ourselves as the perfect partner. But marriage has a way of revealing the parts of ourselves we never noticed. The truth is, we tend to marry someone who challenges us—not someone who is constantly comforting us. And that’s not a flaw in the relationship; it’s a feature of it. God often uses our partner as His sieve fork, to bring to light what needs to change.
Even outside of marriage, whether in friendships or our walk with God, the same principle applies. Sometimes, people in our lives say things that strike a nerve. Our initial reaction might be to defend ourselves, but perhaps God is using that person to open our eyes. Maybe it’s a trait we’ve carried for 20 or 30 years without noticing. Then, suddenly, someone points it out—and it hurts. But if we’re willing to listen, it could be the key to real transformation.
So, here’s the takeaway: let’s not resist the process. Let’s allow God to use His sieve fork in our lives. Whether it’s through a partner, a friend, or life’s challenges, He is refining us. If that means removing stubbornness, old habits, insecurities, or pride—so be it. It won’t always be easy, and it won’t always feel good. But it will always be for our good.
Have you missed any of the past Love Therapy seminars on ‘The Tools of Intelligent Love’? Don’t worry! Join us this Thursday, 24th April at 8pm. A new tool will be disclosed, and together let’s embrace it, because it’s through these very tools that we grow and become better.
Event: The Love Therapy Seminars
Day and time: Thursday 24th April at 8pm
Location: The Cathedral of Miracles, Rainbow Theatre, 232 Seven Sisters Road, Finsbury Park, London, N4 3NX (outside London via conference)
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