“I remember that day as if it were yesterday. It was 31 December 2022. I left home around 7pm, smoked a cigarette and got in the car. I was very apprehensive because, for the first time, I was going to a New Year’s Eve event at a church.
“Normally, I would see in the New Year at a club, so I was totally out of my comfort zone but something was telling me that it was the right thing to do. After all, all those parties and drinks couldn’t fill the emptiness I had inside.
“My problems started when I was still a child. There was a war going on in my home country – Mozambique – so when I was only five years old, my family had to flee the country. We ended up in a refugee camp in Swaziland, where we stayed for ten long years. When we finally left the camp and moved to Europe, I believed things would get better, but soon my hope vanished: after a couple of months, my brother lost his life in a motorbike accident and shortly after, my mum also passed away. Even though I still had my father and other family members, I felt alone without my mum to guide me.
“Thinking I was now all grown up and knew everything, I started clubbing, drinking, smoking and getting involved with different guys. Then, at 19 I met someone who I thought was my soul mate. We were getting along well at first, but as time passed he became very jealous and we started having many arguments. I thought that having a child together would bring us closer and restore our relationship, but how wrong I was! When my son was born, things worsened.
“I started taking drugs as a way to escape my problems, but as soon as that temporary ‘fix’ wore off, I was back to that sad reality. Eventually, I decided to end the relationship
and move with my son to the UK. Although I was now in a different country, it was the same old story: I got into another problematic relationship, in which I had two daughters. By the time it all fell apart, I was left a single mum of three.
“It was hard raising my children by myself, but being a strong and determined woman, soon I was working, earning my own money and putting my life back on track. On the outside things were moving forward but inside, I was still broken. My nights out only numbed my inner pain for a short period. When I lay down on my pillow, all that emptiness would return.
“One day, a work colleague noticed that I wasn’t well and said, ‘There’s a place where you can receive spiritual help for your problems.’ That place was the Universal Church, but I refused her invitation. Deep down, at the time I didn’t accept that I needed help. I was a successful independent, free woman!
“The reality was that I was not free at all – I was enslaved by my negative habits and inner problems – but I couldn’t see it back then. For nine years I kept believing my own lie that everything was fine but my inner void had just grown to a point that I couldn’t take it anymore.
“One morning I finally understood that I needed help, so I called my friend. I burst into tears on the phone. She told me that everything was going to be fine and invited me to a meeting at the Universal Church, and this time I accepted.
“I didn’t know what to expect, but I felt very welcomed by the spiritual advisers at the Church. They prayed for me and when I left I felt really light, as if they took a heavy burden off me. I never felt like that before, so I decided to keep attending the services.
“The end of the year was approaching and soon I was invited to the New Year’s Eve Night Vigil and I thought, ‘Why not?’ I always used to spend my New Year’s Eve partying and drinking, and on the first day of the new year there I was, hungover and faced with the same troubles, so I decided to try something new this time. Maybe if I did something different, I could see different results.
“The first thing that caught my attention was seeing all different kinds of people (families, youths, elderly) together and with genuine smiles on their faces. I wanted that same happiness and when I heard the pastor saying that if I was sincere with God and surrendered my heart to Him I could be truly happy, I believed.
“I decided to give all my troubles to God and left the church with a joy and an inner strength that I never had before. I’m so glad that I did it because, after years of unaccomplished resolutions, 2023 was indeed a ‘New Year, New Me.’ The cigarette I smoked on my way to the church was my last one. Somehow, I didn’t feel the need for it anymore. I felt so at peace, from that day onwards I understood what was missing inside all those years was the presence of God.
“I entered not only a New Year but also a new phase in my life. In each service that followed, I started learning more about who God is and how to get closer to Him. I understood the importance of forgiving those who hurt me – and also myself, for the wrong choices I’d made. I decided to leave behind everything that tied me back to my old lifestyle, including negative feelings, habits and friendships. As I surrendered all of this to God, He made me complete from the inside out.
“Twelve months have passed and now I’m a better woman, a better mother, I have a blessed family and even when problems arise, I’m at peace because I know that God is with me. The emptiness I had was filled with joy and peace and today, I go out with that same friend who invited me to the church to reach out to others and let them know that things can change!”
Sara Antonio
