“After three decades under the influence of various substances, Debora Bell shares how she broke the habit that included an 8-year crack addiction, and why she believes that no one is ever a lost case.
“My journey began innocently enough, with a “desire to fit in and imitate my older friends. At 13 years old, I smoked my first cigarette and by the time I turned 18, I had already started smoking weed and drinking alcohol.
“When I left my home in Angola to study in South Africa with my older brother, I was introduced to ecstasy, LSD, and a party lifestyle. Initially, cocaine was something I only took at parties. It was during this period that I met my first boyfriend and fell pregnant and the birth of my daughter briefly interrupted my drug use. At the time, this was all a bit of fun. I never imagined that it would spiral into a web of addiction that held me captive for years.
“A brief return to Angola uncovered my secret life to my unsuspecting parents, when they started noticing that items around the house were going missing. Stealing, selling my daughter’s belongings, and abandoning any sense of responsibility exposed the severity of my addiction. I’d ruin my family’s reputation, and in desperation to get me some help, they turned to witch doctors for a cure. It never worked. I continued my downward spiral.
“If I wasn’t actively smoking drugs, my mind was consumed with thoughts on how to get my next hit. I worked as a Personal Assistant and would steal money to fund my habit. I kept doing the same thing wherever I worked and this led to a series of lost jobs and broken relationships. Friends distanced themselves and soon, my addiction was affecting my daughter’s health. Due to my smoking, she developed a severe lung infection.
“Unable to continue smoking indoors, I moved into a crack house pushing my parents to the brink of despair.
“Inside the crack house, the living room was where we gathered to smoke while the kitchen was where we prepared the drugs. There was a constant
smell of smoke mixed with body odour. The lights were always dim, broken furniture, stained mattresses, discarded pipes, syringes, lighters and other drug paraphernalia were scattered all over the place.
“I knew it was a dangerous place but I didn’t care. People questioned why someone like me, with a stable family, would end up in such a place. But the truth was that the addiction overpowered me. It had such a grip on me that food, hygiene, and sleep meant nothing. All I cared about was my next fix.
“After vanishing for weeks, I could feel the weight of missed moments with my daughter on my shoulders as I returned home. The mixed emotions of guilt and relief flooded me when I was welcomed back with open arms to my mother’s cooking, a dinner of steak and pasta, and the comfort of my own bed.
“After a much-needed shower, I went to sleep for a few hours. The initial warmth, however, quickly turned cold when my father approached me saying. “I’m really sorry, but you’ve given me no choice.” Before I knew it, a chain was wrapped around both my ankles, secured with a lock and tied to the window rails. For a week, I was confined to my room, I was a prisoner in my own home. He was so desperate for me to be well that he felt it was the only way to keep me from running back to the crack house.
“I just saw this as another attempt to keep me indoors, but it didn’t work. Instead, I would call people to go to the dealer and get drugs for me.
“As time passed, their trust in me slowly rebuilt. The chain remained on my ankles, but I was no longer bound to the window. I was allowed some freedom within the house. On a day when my father was at work and my mother, who had left her bedroom door open, was occupied with a visitor, I snuck into her room and found the key, unlocked the chains, stole some money, said goodbye to my daughter and ran back to my old ways.
“My father, who knew of my whereabouts, arrived with a final ultimatum. I didn’t resist; deep down I was tired of this life and a part of me truly wanted to change. I agreed to attend a six-week rehabilitation programme in South Africa. It was there, I made the decision that I would never smoke crack again, only cigarettes.
“After going through rehab everything appeared to be falling into place. I was clean, I met a good man, my daughter joined me in South Africa, and I eventually got married, welcoming a son and a second daughter into our lives. My focus shifted entirely to my children, and for a while, everything felt complete.
“However, as the years passed, I found myself slipping back into old habits. First came drinking then smoking weed, which started taking a toll on my marriage.
“The turning point for the entire family began at my eldest daughter’s 17th birthday party, when two intruders held a gun to her head. Fearing for our safety, we decided to move to the UK, where some of my family members lived.
“In this new environment, my cousins invited me to the Universal Church, and something about it felt different from anything I had experienced before. Desperate for change, I attended my first Sunday service and felt that this was the place where I could find the help I needed. People were kind and there was something about the place that felt peaceful.
“I began attending the 4pm meetings specifically for those struggling with addictions. Initially I was inconsistent but a pivotal moment that changed this
was when I heard the Pastor say that I had the power to break the cycle not just for myself but for my children. This made me want to fight harder for this change. I prayed for strength and started attending Friday meetings for deliverance. I stopped second guessing what I heard during these sessions and embraced the process. Just like I gave my all to drugs, I decided to put one hundred per cent effort in this and give God a chance.
“The journey to break free from addiction was challenging, but with determination, support, and faith, I rebuilt my life.
“It’s been 16 years since I’ve been free from crack cocaine and two years clean from weed, cigarettes and alcohol. The thought of drugs makes me sick to my stomach! When I share my story, I feel like I’m talking about someone completely different. That’s how much I’ve changed as a person.
“Life continues to present challenges, but the difference now is that I’ve found peace and have the inner
strength to face them head on. I am no longer an empty shell of a person. My marriage and family are now a blessing. Today, I’m a loving mother and daughter. I have a renewed sense of purpose. I work as a Carer and have stability in my professional life. I was once deemed a lost case, but now my story has become an inspiration for others.
“Who would have thought that a person trapped in addiction could find happiness? Certainly not me. I’m grateful for the life I now lead and I’m so glad I accepted the help from the Universal Church and you can too. What have you got to lose? I took that chance, and it changed my life.”
Debora Bell
